The super mom real or myth

My cousin Nishi posted on Facebook the other day about the frustrations of being a mom.  Cooking, cleaning, paying bills, playing hide n seek, bath time, working, trying to do it all while raising healthy, happy children.  Nishi did what is rare, admitted she doesn't do everything perfect.  From reading my blogs, you guys know that I admit to not doing everything perfect, but unfortunately that is not the norm.

When you look at other mom's and even dad's  Facebook posts and it is normally something like "just made a cake for Timmy's birthday, gift bags made all while making a five course dinner oh yeah and I made cake pops to look like owls while my five kids wee napping.  I would say that is a productive day"  Hmmm..... kudos to you, sometimes I have days like that, where all the stars align and I get a massive burst of energy and I get all of this stuff done.  But that does NOT happen every day.  Most days I am lucky if I put a bra on and get out of my pajama pants before noon, and the real reason I change is because I don't want my daycare parents thinking I spend all day in my pajama pants, not because I want to change.  Most days I'm lucky if I can make it to the coffee pot without running into a wall and get the kids out the door on time.  But I don't post that, because the is my normal day.  I post the fantastic things, the funny things or thing other parents can empathize with.

Being a parent is exhausting and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.  Plan and simply lying.  Super parents only exist in our dreams. It is a facade other parents put up to not let other parents know they are going just as nuts as we are. It is not this magical experience where unicorns skip and play and make rainbows where ever you go.  Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever love.  I read an article discussing the difficulties of being a parent and how parents of older child sabotage new parents without even knowing it. For instance; the experienced parents meets someone with a baby and asks:

"oh how old is she?"
New mom replies " 6 months."
Reply "oh that is my favorite stage, they are starting to jabber and crawl and oh that one tooth grin!"

Now, we experienced parents don't mention anything about how awful the 6 month stage is when little junior throws food all over the cat, and pulls the drapes down on top of himself while crawling around, or how your wooden spoon will never be the same because instead of banging on the pots and pans junior chewed on spoon instead........hmmm  I wondered why it was so quiet... See! By withholding that part of the story, we have inadvertently sabotaged the new mom.  She thinks that we are some kind of super mom because her little girl is cute and cuddly 15% of the time, but a holy terror the other 85%, what is wrong with me and my child?  I must be doing something wrong.  Now when I talk to a new mom or a mom with toddlers, I still ask how old, I still mention my favorite parts but the I mention the bad stuff too.  It is good for us more experienced moms to relate to new moms.

I honestly think that with the addition of social media moms are in a silent passive aggressive competition with other moms to see who can out do who.  I saw on Good Morning America where Pinterest was a means of "mom-shaming" (no seriously I couldn't make this up)  where moms post pictures of the super over the top birthday cakes they made for Junior's third birthday with a functioning Thomas the Train and a smoke stack.  GMA interviewed other moms who stated putting up those pictures made them feel like less of a mom because they couldn't do that.  Seriously?

Insert me grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you here.  If your self esteem is wrapped up in what kind of cake you can make for your child's birthday you have bigger problems honey.

Bottom line.  Mom's give yourself a break.  At the end of a difficult day when you think you have completely failed ask yourself these questions

1. Are they still breathing?
2. Have I done anything to emotionally scar them permanently
3. Were their basic needs of food, water, shelter and clothing met?
4. Can I try to better tomorrow?

If you can answer YES, NO, YES and YES to those questions you are doing a good job.  The most important thing is there is always tomorrow.

What are your mom or dad fails?

Having a child with ADD my journey thus far..

My little champ

It isn't a life ending diagnosis but it is a difficult diagnosis to get. My oldest daughter Anna has always been a mild mannered, respectful (most of the time), tenderhearted child.  Through the years in school teachers told me she was a kind, thoughtful student...but had a little trouble in the area of talking too much.  HA!  Have you met her mother??  Joe and I didn't think anything of it and just figured she was a little chatty like her mother.  It wasn't until fourth grade that Anna started to develop a problem with anxiety, we thought is was related to the death of my sister-in-law's father and then my grandmother.  We enlisted the help of the school guidance counselor and a remedial therapist to help her deal with her grief and worry issues.  Fifth grade for Anna started out on a bad foot...literally.
While playing soccer at school Anna tripped over the ball and ended up breaking her foot, no cast was needed but Anna spend the next 6 weeks in a boot and on crutches. The kids at school were either super helpful or horribly mean.  Telling Anna she was faking, that she didn't have a broken foot.  One boy even went so far as to trip her while getting off the bus to make her put weight on her broken foot to prove she could walk on it.  I spent a lot of time on the phone with teacher and the school's bullying specialist. Thankfully she wasn't in the boot forever and as soon as she got out of the boot the kids left her alone.

We went in to see our family doctor who put on medicine for her anxiety, because it would get so bad for her at school that she would make herself physically ill.  The doctor wrote a note informing the school of Anna's anxiety and getting worked up.  If she were to vomit at school at have no other symptoms of illness she was to return to class.  This note was created because I would have to pick Anna up from school one a week because she had vomited.

In December 2013, our family was crippled with Influenza A while we were all sick and suffering I decided to go through Anna's bag it was then when I saw Anna's second quarter report card realizing she had thrown away her report card from the first quarter.  She was failing most of her classes.  After talking to Anna about what I had discovered, lots of tears shed by both of us, I promised her I would fix it.  It was then I put my supermom cape and battened down the hatches and went to work.  I got a hold of her teacher, helped her organize her planner, found out ALL of the work she was late on, made an appointment with the doctor.

When I talked to Anna's teacher she told me Anna wasn't displaying the signs of ADD, but there was something in my gut that told me otherwise.  Of course, getting the diagnosis is a slow process, it's not like going in and getting an antibiotic for a sinus infection.  I felt so impatient and out of control because I knew in my heart of hearts this is what was wrong.  Finally after seeing our family doctor and being referred to a psychologist who specialized in children with ADD as well as children with anxiety and depression we finally got the diagnosis.  We also learned that children with ADD also have anxiety because they get so worked up from being unable to concentrate and then trying to cover up the things they didn't do because they could concentrate...it basically go hand in hand.

Joe and I chose to medicate Anna.  I know there is a lot of controversy about medicating the children of America because parents just can't handle them or because they are lazy.  Doing a quick Google search I found an article discussing what medication CAN and CAN NOT do for a child with ADD.  Parents are cautioned to not think mediation is a "magic pill" which will cure ADD.  Persons with ADD need to make an entire lifestyle change.  Well, isn't that the truth.

Though Anna was diagnosed with ADD, meaning she has the type that makes it difficult for her to concentrate but she doesn't have the hyperactivity which most people associate with the disorder.  In our house it has taken us a little time but we have adjusted to having a child with ADD.  Sometimes it is incredibly frustrating, especially when I am talking to Anna and I can tell by the look on her face there is a circus going on inside her head. Sometimes, when she gets really excited or her pill has worn off, she can be impulsive and will interrupt when someone is talking.  We have informed all of her teachers and Joe and I tried to be extra patient with her.  In the year since her diagnosis, we have learned to anticipate when Anna has issues and will try to help her. I'm happy to share,since starting the medication Anna's grades improved dramatically.  Though this isn't the case for some kids.

My best advice is to be vigilant, just because you receive the diagnosis and the mediation isn't a fix all, that is just the beginning of your journey.  You will need to realize this something your child will have to deal with for the rest of their life.

If you want more information about the signs and symptoms of ADD and ADHD please click here

A time to be calm and a time to freak out...mommy style

I am going to warn you right now, this is not my normal sunshine and roses post...HA! Who are we kidding, I'm never a sunshine and roses kind of girl. What I want to tell you guys about today is the "mommy freak out".  I pride myself on being a mom with a good balance between the spanking discipline and month long groundings I received as a child and the soft and fluffy "time outs" and the "don't spank your children because it encourages violence" style of parenting.  Neither of those methods were what Joe and I decided for our children, we chose to do timeouts, a lot of minor corrections so the big things would take care of themselves, mild spanking for the major infractions and the occational "mommy freak out".  Yes I said a "mommy freak out"  it's that moment as a mother that you have tried all of the tools in your belt.  To get your children to stop fighting, or to stop messing with the cat and to pick up the hangers up off the floor but you feel like crazy guy walking down the sidewalk talking to himself.  So. You. Lose. It. Words fly out of your mouth at a volume reserved for rock concerts and football games. Language is used that would make a trucker blush, you are having an out of body experience.  During the "mommy freak out" is when the children finally stop fighting and finally pay attention to what you are saying.  Except for this time they have a look of horror and fear on their face that rivals the actresses in Nightmare on Elm Street.  Then comes the tears and the hyperventilating sobs that come as a result of your freak out. But they have finally listened and you....feel like crap.

The last two weeks I have especially noticed my daughter's fighting.  Not ninja style fighting, just nit-picking at each other and arguing.  It is incredibly annoying. I have let them have it out to try to solve it on their own, I have intervened, I have made them sit in a chair and hug each other just so I could get some peace and quiet.  I mean, I do daycare for a living and my kiddos don't make me as nuts as my girls do.

On top of the arguing, we have had the talking back.  I have also prided myself on having open communication with my daughters to explain things to them and let them talk with about anything they want to.  However, they like to take that open communication to the next level and try to do it while they are getting in trouble.  Here's what I mean, I will color code it for you so you can see what DEFCON level we are talking.

"Allie I need you to pick up your back pack and put your shoes away please"
"Ok just sec" Was the yelled reply.  I wait a few minutes
"Allie, I still need you to pick up your back pack and put your shoes away"
"I know" mmmmm hmmm you know...I wait a few more minutes as I continue to clean
"Alivia Claire, shoes. Back pack" I'm starting to get pretty annoyed, I busted out the full name.
"UUUUUGGGGGH.  I was playing a game!!"
"I understand that, but I need these shoes picked up before the puppy gets into them"
"What about Anna!  She's just sitting there, I have to do everything"
"Allie don't worry about Anna, since you are arguing with me you can go and scoop the cat boxes by yourself"  See this conversation is still in yellow, I am not angry, but I am definitely using my serious voice.
"WHAT?!?! That's not fair!!  I have to do everything!!!" Cue the stomp down the hallway groaning.
"Allie come back here"  Notice Allie went straight to DEFCON1 and I took it back a notch.
Cue the stomping back down the hallway. "What!"
"I need you not stomp through my house like that and stop with the groaning or you will pull a consequence"
"Fine!"
"Please go and put the shoes away and then scoop the cat boxes"
Cue the dramatic throwing of the arms and head back and crescendo of groaning while stomping through the house.
"Allie pull a consequence"  (I'll tell you about that in a second) Notice I am even calmer now, this is called the "calm before the freak out"
"WHAT!!!!?????  BWAAAAAAAAAH! AHHHH" Allie has lost it.
And then so do I....I explained it in theory at the beginning, so we don't need to rehash it.

Kind of like this....

I Don't have a "Mommy Freak out" very often, I was sick last week so I think that made me a little quicker to blow.  Afterwards, with the tears from Allie and the guilt from me I felt terrible.  But then something happened.  After everyone had calmed down Allie came to me
"I'm sorry Mama.  I just get so worked up sometimes"
"I'm sorry too baby.  You and your sister have been arguing so much and not listening that I think I finally had enough" I said.
"Daddy said I don't get my Kindle for awhile"  Allie says, thank heavens for a tag team from Joe
"Yes, I heard I think that is for the best"
"Me too.  I love you Mama"  Allie gives me the biggest hug.

This went down Tuesday and today is Sunday.  I haven't had any freak out issues with Allie.  Now the girls are still arguing but they are quicker to respond when Joe or I tell them to cut it out.  We can't be perfect mothers all the time, time outs aren't always the answer and good mothers realize that.  But our guilt over what the "experts" tell us to do and our not measuring up makes us beat ourselves up when we have a "mommy freak out".  Sometimes we have to have a reset button.

When Kim Kardashian was on Ellen on Friday I wanted to go through the screen and....never mind.  She went on and on about how great a mother is and how Kanye doesn't change diapers but she does and just loves that time with her baby.  Now, hearing that knowing how busy Kim is makes me look like an awful mom and child care provider when I dread what is in that diaper and gag when it is a nasty.   We have to learn to not compare ourselves to other moms and especially not celebrities.  Normally moms share the good stuff, we don't like to share our dirty little secrets so others don't think bad of you.

Admit your downfalls as a mother, wife, sister, child of God in general.  Share those things with others so we can relate to one another and bring each other up.  We can't do it alone.

In my house me use a consequence jar.  All we did was take pieces of paper and write chores on them.  Things like:
"Vacuum the refrigerator coils"  NOTE this is very important.
"Dust the livingroom"
"Vacuum the living room"
"Clean up dog poop from backyard"
I also put in a Mercy card that says "God gives us mercy and you have been granted mercy"
There is probably 15 cards in there.  I tell my children when they are misbehaving to pull a consequence and then they have to complete that in addition to their normal chores. Contact me if you want more information.

Tell me about your mommy or daddy "failures" let's discuss.

The love story of Katie and Joe...Part two

Joe and Katie July 14, 2001

So the story I posted yesterday was an entry for a love story contest and was definitely the sunshine and rainbows version of our story.  I try to be very honest with my readers and as PG as possible because I know my daughters and other children read this.  Now it's time to tell you the real story and some of the struggles Joe and I had in our first year together.

The story began exactly as I wrote about it and posted yesterday.  If you missed it click here to get up to speed. I got the courage to ask Joe out after we had been flirting with each other for three weeks.  I knew he had a son and was probably a little gun shy to start another relationship because of the stigma associated with a single dad, especially a dad with a baby so young (5 months old).

After that first date Joe and I got pretty serious, pretty fast.  We spent as much time together as we possibly could.  We officially started dating exclusively on February 7, 1999 a week later on Valentine's Day Joe gave me a beautiful heart necklace.  I was floored because my boyfriend before Joe insisted on going dutch and never bought me jewelry or sentimental gifts such as that. Though I knew I fell in love with him at first sight, we didn't say the words to each other until a month into the relationship which is when we started having sleepovers at room I was renting at my high school friends house.  You see my mom and dad didn't approve of Joe.  I was raised in a fairly strict Christian family and having a child outside of wedlock was viewed as a sin.  My parents were also concerned with Joe's age, 22 to my 20, meaning he could legally drink alcohol and I couldn't.  Since I still lived with my parents they made it difficult for me to see him, so I moved out so I could be with Joe.

The relationship progressed, I was introduced to Joe's parents and I was even introduced to Joe's son, Kyran, when Joe's parent's brought him in to visit Joe at work.  Things seemed to be going on the right track, until Joe stopped calling, stopped returning my calls, when I finally would get a hold of him he told me his cell phone didn't show a missed call or a voicemail.  After awhile, I got tired of being avoided and left him a message that we were through.  In May of that year, I moved out of my friend's house and back in with my parent's.   Joe and I saw each other on and off through out the course of that summer it was hard for me because I loved him so much, but I knew they way he was treating me wasn't right.  Finally in August of 1999 it seemed Joe had gotten his act together and was again committed to me.  My parents were still singing the same song about Joe stating "I'm not sure what it is about that boy, but he's not for you" I understand where they were coming from...now, Joe was unlike anyone I had ever dated before.

In September I decided to move in with my friend Wendy and her boyfriend Jason.  As I was making the plans to move with them Joe, again, went AWAL.  Joe had told me to call him that night and we would get hang out.  I called and left a message waiting for him to get off work.  I didn't work at the salon, KJ & Kompany anymore and was working at an office doing filing.  Having played this game before I had a feeling Joe was at Diamond Dave's, the restaurant/bar where Joe and I had our first date and continued to hang out at as our relationship progressed.  I decided to drive out there to see, as I pulled up I saw Joe outside.  He didn't see my car pull up so I pulled out my cell phone to call him.  He picked up right away.
"Hey how's it going?" Joe said
"Good, I thought we were going to hang out tonight" I said
"Oh, gosh, yeah I'm sorry we had to do inventory and I got stuck at work"
I blew up.  You see Joe had just lied to me, the mall locked the doors after 9:00 and the only door you could get in or out of after 9:00 was Diamond Dave's.  He was avoiding me...again.  I walked up to Joe and confronted him on is lie.  The conversation got ugly, there were tears shed...by me.  Finally Joe said
"I can't be in a relationship right now, I can't commit myself to anyone right now"
It was over, through all the ups and downs it was over.
Wendy and I went out for kareoke one night and I met this guy from Alabama, as I sit her writing this, I can see his face and remember his accent but I can't remember his name, let's call him Brad.  Brad and I began seeing each other that night and continued to see each other.  One day as I sat at my desk preparing to file away some paperwork I was called to the front desk.  I had gotten flowers!  Oh my gosh I bet they were from Brad, what a sweet guy.  I opened the card and saw in Joe's handwriting "I miss you.  Please call me"  I ran to the bathroom and cried.  I didn't know what to do.  This man, two weeks prior, broke my already damaged heart and told me he couldn't commit to me now he missed me.

I went back to my desk and called Joe.  He answered right away and invited me to go down to Dysart, Iowa (30 minutes south of Waterloo, Iowa where Joe and I worked) with him to pick up Kyran for his visitation.  I agreed.  That night we drove in silence for what seemed like forever, when Joe finally started talking he said
"I have missed you."
"I've missed you too" I replied. "You hurt me"
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Have you changed your mind?  Are we going to give this another try" I asked
"I want to be with you, but I don't want to be in a long term commitment"
I was floored, I couldn't believe I could be so stupid.  Here he was playing with my heart again.  I tried to be strong, but fell for his charms again and ended up having a sleepover with him the next weekend.  Meanwhile, I had left Brad in the dust to follow after Joe, we left me in the dust...again two weeks later. I had screwed up.  When I called Brad he was angry because he had heard I went back with Joe and he severed ties with me.  I was alone....again.

In mid-September I was trying to move on and forget all about Joe, swearing off men for awhile.  One afternoon, I got into a fight with my roommates and left the house to stay with my parents.  I was so upset over the altercation, I called the one person who always made me feel better.  Joe.

Joe came to the rescue, telling me to move out of that house and back in with my parents.  Joe told me he couldn't stand that I was in that situation and he wasn't there for me.  Joe was down in Cedar Rapids, Iowa (an hour away) for training, he promised he would be home the next day and would come to see me.  My dad and I moved me out of Wendy and Jason's place that night and I never looked back.

Joe came to see me, like he promised, that next day.  I knew at that moment, something had changed with him.  Joe and I eased back into our relationship and when my grandfather's health started to fail, Joe was there with me.  In October of 1999 when my grandfather died, Joe was there to hold me while I cried and attend the visitation and funeral with me.  Joe had definitely changed.

From that moment on we were serious.  We moved in together that December of 1999 against my parent's wishes.  Ironically Joe's dad, Jim, showed up at my parent's house with a trailer to help move me out of my parents' house and in with Joe and his older brother, Matt.

On January 30th 2000 one year to the day that I mustered up the courage to ask him out, Joe invited me to Diamond Dave's and proposed.  Of course I said yes.  We got married in 2001 and had Anna the next year.  Our life since hasn't been without problems but we have been committed to each other.  I often tease Joe that he was a bit of a bonehead (hey I'm keeping it PG here) for the first nine months of our relationship until he pulled his head out of his butt and realized I was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Joe was dealing with some massive wounds after his break up with Kyran's mom. We both had major trust issues and Joe wanted to be with me but was afraid I would hurt him so he hurt me before I could hurt him.

I believe that God wanted us to be together.  He didn't say it was going to be easy but love never is.  Even our children are difficult to love at times.

So tell me, what are some of the ups and downs of your relationship, was it all sunshine and roses or was there a little drama along the way?

The love story of Katie and Joe

Hey is the story I submitted to Elements in Cedar Falls, Iowa to enter Joe and I for a couple massage and goodie basket.  I'll post the link if we are one

of the finalists :)

In Janurary of 1999 my heart was broken.  My boyfriend of over two years broke up with me his reasoning was “your life is going nowhere and you will never amount to anything”. With those words still ringing in my head I went to work at KJ & Kompany at Crossroads Mall in Waterloo, Iowa.  As the receptionist my job was to greet customers, make appointments and stock the shelves.  As I stocked the shelves it was at that moment I noticed the US Cellular guy who worked across the hall.  Tall with glasses, dressed in navy blue Dockers and a light blue button down, with light brown hair and kind eyes.  Still reeling from my break-up I wasn't looking for someone new, at the time I wanted my old boyfriend back, but there was still something about this guy that I took note.

As the weeks after my break up went on I went on a few rebound dates and starting talking with the cute “US Cellular guy”.  Though the gossip grapevine I learned his name was Joe, he had a five month old son, and was not seeing anyone.  It started by us running into each other by the drinking fountain,

“Hey, I didn't see you yesterday” Joe would comment.

“Oh I had yesterday off” I replied.

“What, you only work part time?” He teased.

“No. I am a full time employee” I replied with mock anger.

It was definitely flirting, but I was oblivious.

As the days went on Joe would walk by after going to lunch or coming into work and he would call out to me “How’s it going Part-Time?”   I would glare at him and then smile, quickly turning around so he wouldn't see me blushing.   The cosmetologists I worked with teased me about my crush on the “US Cellular guy”. The flirting continued and I realized I really liked this guy.

On January 29, 1999 the girls I worked with finally gave me the courage to ask him out.  It was the 90’s so it was completely acceptable right?  What’s the worst he could say? “No! Go away”  I was just off work and with my heart in my throat I walked across the hallway to US Cellular, I went in and Joe wasn't anywhere to be found so I had to ask for him.  He came out of the back and saw me,

 “Aww what do you want” Joe said with a smile.

“Wondering if I could talk to you for a second” I replied, trying not to blush

“Well, I just got off work I’ll walk you out” as we walked the short distance to the doors I finally blurted out

“I was wondering I maybe you would like to go out sometime”

“Sure.” Joe replied.  He got out a pen and gave me his number and I gave him mine.  We parted and went to our own vehicles to go home. 

As I sat in my car I replayed the conversation in my head Sure. Sure?! That didn’t sound very convincing.  Maybe he will call tonight to set something up, I thought.

That night passed without a phone call.  The next morning I got up to go to work again mortified that I asked him out and he wasn’t interested in me.  I immediately immersed myself into work avoiding looking across the hall at all costs because making eye contact with Joe would reduce me to a puddle of mortified goo.  Until I heard someone whistle. I looked up to see Joe trying to get my attention,

“Hey!  Katie! Want to go eat lunch?” Joe called to me across the hallway.  We met for lunch at Diamond Dave’s, as we sat down Joe handing me pictures of his son as if to tell me “here is my baggage” .  I looked at pictures of this beautiful little boy knowing full well if Joe and I took this relationship forward this little boy would be in my life forever.  Only being twenty at the time it was something I considered before I asked Joe out.  Our lunch together was fantastic, there were no awkward silences, we laughed together and teased each other.   As we conversed I realized he was just as heartbroken and damaged as I was.

It has been 15 year since the day I finally got the courage to ask out the cute US Cellular guy.  After that first date our relationship moved forward quickly, we had some bumps along the way even broke up for a time, but that’s what people with baggage do.  Joe and I now have been married for almost 13 years and have two daughters 9 and 11 and then, of course, Joe’s son, now 15.  I look back at those carefree days and realize it was truly love at first sight.  Joe and I were two heartbroken souls brought together by destiny.  The people we were with before were not our happily ever after, we had to go through that storm to find the peace on the other side.

Tell me about your love story.  What do you think of mine.  Remember to follow my blog to get updates on when I post :)

Week three with the gremlin

So life has finally started to normalize.  Having a puppy is a challenge, but thanks to our breeder it has been a fairly easy road.  Molly is 99% house broke and only has the occasional accident when we aren't paying attention to the signs she is giving us.  In the mornings sometimes she has to go potty so bad she is whining and howling while I am holding her to put on her leash to go outside.  I can totally relate with that feeling, you know the one where you nearly cut your pants off with a knife because your zipper won't go down and you have to pee?  What?  Just me.

When going potty isn't so much of a dire emergency Molly likes to take her sweet time, sniffing around, chewing on sticks before she decides she has to go potty or will go up the stairs to go back inside.  Molly sleeps in bed with Joe and I. Well, me because as I have discussed in previous blogs she has bonded with me.  Which on the outside I feel really bad because my daughter Anna really wanted to have an animal bond with her but in the inside I am jumping up and down and squealing with joy.

Here are my words of advise to make getting a new puppy easier.

1. Get a kennel.  Crate training is incredibly important, though to us human is seems like a cage and inhumane, but to your puppy it is a safe place they can go when they are scared, need some quiet time or you need to leave.  The trick is to not throw your new puppy into the kennel and lock the door, that makes the kennel a scary confined place.  Also, I put a bottle filled with hot water, wrapped in a towel into the kennel and I had an noise machine that my mom bought for me when Joe was snoring so bad that I couldn't sleep (this was before the CPAP changed our life) and one of the noises is a heartbeat.  I covered the kennel with a blanket, after I had eased her into the idea of the kennel, and left her in the for small amounts of time giving her a treat each time I came to get her out.  Now she goes to the kennel and has kennel time each day from about 10:00 to 1:00.
2. Use a harness, your puppy is so small that a harness helps you control her without choking her
3. Start leash training right away with above mentioned harness.  Trust me you want to avoid running through the snow the first time your puppy runs off chasing a leaf.
4. Starting training right away.  In my research I have determined cocker spaniels are eager learners and respond to food motivated training.  Already Molly knows "come" "sit" and "down"   not bad for only being in our house for just over two weeks.
5. Research establishing dominance and making sure you are the pack leader.  I know this sounds like crazy gibberish but you can read a very helpful article by clicking here

Now I have given you guys a ton of information let's sit back and watch an adorable video Anna took while I was trying to teach Molly to go down the stairs. Since this was filmed she can now go down the two step into the back yard.  Score! 

Are you thinking about getting a new animal?  What are you nervous about?  Please share with me

Stop and just be

My view Jan 10, 2014

It's my story every day.  Get up, get the kids ready for school, welcome daycare kids, take care of them, log onto the computer, pay bills, make appointments, make lunch, change diapers, down for nap....you get the point.  I am constantly racing.  Sometimes, when I am sitting in my chair or laying on the couch "relaxing" I realize my shoulders are still tense or my mind is still thinking about what I have to do.

How often do we stop and just be?  As a part of treatment for my anxiety I have taken to meditating and yoga (although I haven't been very good at it lately) it forces you to just...be.  To concentrate on your breathing and clear your mind.  Having a new puppy has caused me to be racing even more, this time I'm racing to get a puppy outside to go potty.  I've spoke before about how cold it was in Iowa last week, currently we are in the middle of a heat wave, yesterday it was 40 degrees F and the girls and I walked around without a coat on!  But going outside with the puppy while she sniffed around, ate the snow, found sticks to chew on, I found myself taking a deep breath and looking to the sky and horizon.  It hit me, what a wonderful world we live in. I noticed the stars in the sky, the 'Big Dipper', the glow in the Eastern sky from the city lights of Waterloo 25 miles away.  We had a small ice storm Thursday into Friday last week and the ice gathered on the trees.  The sight is something I have always noted and found beautiful but Friday I really took a moment to take in the beauty of what I have in my own backyard, created by God.

How often are we so consumed in our lives that we forget to stop and see what is all around us?  So I challenge you to see the beauty that is right in front of you.  If you are looking for a miracle look right outside your back door.  With all the stress we all have in our lives, take a moment whether in be in your living room, bedroom or, my new favorite, out my back door.  Take a few seconds, take a deep breath and clear your mind.  Forget your 'To do' list and recharge.

How do you recharge?  Did you take my advice how did it make you feel?? Comment below I love to read your comments.