The green monster that is jealousy...

Disney's "The Little Mermaid"

I have a great life, it's not perfect.  Joe and I have had our share of problems: financially, emotional, illness, children (we all know that having kids is an umbrella of great joy and hair-pulling problems).  In the fifteen years Joe and I have been together we've had jobs and lost jobs.  Joe has been the main bread winner at times, then I have, then back to Joe...we have flip-flopped a few times.  I'm very fortunate to have a nice home that Joe and I worked hard together to make it our own.  Our daughters are healthy, responsible beautiful souls.  But like Ariel in Disney's "The Little Mermaid" I want more.....

I look at what other people and compare what I have versus what they have.  I find myself measuring myself up to other people to determine my own self worth;

Oh the Jones' have new furniture so my slip covered hand-me-downs are inadequate....I'm such a loser.
Oh the Millers just bought a new fifth wheel and we still have our pop-up camper...we are losers
The Smiths have a brand new mini-van and ours is a 2005 with over a 100,000 miles....epic losers

Or it goes this way
Hmm their pop-up doesn't have air conditioning...Winning!
Oh look at the rusted out van they are driving!  Ours is better.  Winners!
Their furniture doesn't even match!  Supreme winners!!

But, seriously why does it matter?? We don't know the situation of each person.  Maybe with all of the great stuff they have, there is also massive credit card debt and loan payments. Maybe the rusted out van is paid off and like us they are driving their paid off vehicle until it dies. This comparing myself to other people is one of the most unhealthy thing I have discovered I do to myself.

Jealousy is an evil, evil monster. I did a little Google research on jealousy and envy and here is the simplest verse I found:

"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice" James 3:16

 Basically we need to be thankful for what we have or we will be miserable. If you spend the majority of your time comparing what you have to what other's have you aren't really living your life, you are too busy being jealous or feeling superior to others. In my struggle with social anxiety and depression I have what I call "battles with myself"  I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep and beat myself up in my mind.  One side of my brain is saying
 "nice jeans you were wearing today, too bad they were too tight and everyone could see your mom-roll and Sally looked amazing in her jeans"
Other side "seriously? Who cares!  Sally is 23 and hasn't had two kids.  You are 35 and look good for your age, give yourself a break!"

Most of you know that I read a devotional (or a couple) each day.  In Joyce Meyer's "Trusting God Day by Day" she talks about being happy for other people.  We all have that friend, when you share amazing news or a great story they respond not with joy but negativity.  I shared my story of Joyce The Woman God Sent to Me to one of my friends and she responded;

"Geez I wish someone would do something like that for me"

 I was thrown aback a bit and couldn't believe that my friend wasn't thrilled with my blessing.  "These responses indicate a spirit of jealousy or some deep-seated feeling that she believes she is not getting what she deserves in life" (Meyer, 2012 p 430). Joyce goes onto say that an attitude like that makes me not want to share the blessings in my life because of fear of more negativity.  No one likes someone to rain on their parade.  But honestly, the person with the negativity needs us to share our blessings the most.  As hard as it is to hear their negative responses it is our job to help them find the blessings in their life.

What kind of difficulty have you had with jealousy?  Do you have that one person filled with negativity?

Blessings
Katie

References
Meyer, Joyce (2012), "Trusting God Day by Day" Published by FaithWords Hachette Book Group, New York, NY