Having a child with ADD my journey thus far..

My little champ

It isn't a life ending diagnosis but it is a difficult diagnosis to get. My oldest daughter Anna has always been a mild mannered, respectful (most of the time), tenderhearted child.  Through the years in school teachers told me she was a kind, thoughtful student...but had a little trouble in the area of talking too much.  HA!  Have you met her mother??  Joe and I didn't think anything of it and just figured she was a little chatty like her mother.  It wasn't until fourth grade that Anna started to develop a problem with anxiety, we thought is was related to the death of my sister-in-law's father and then my grandmother.  We enlisted the help of the school guidance counselor and a remedial therapist to help her deal with her grief and worry issues.  Fifth grade for Anna started out on a bad foot...literally.
While playing soccer at school Anna tripped over the ball and ended up breaking her foot, no cast was needed but Anna spend the next 6 weeks in a boot and on crutches. The kids at school were either super helpful or horribly mean.  Telling Anna she was faking, that she didn't have a broken foot.  One boy even went so far as to trip her while getting off the bus to make her put weight on her broken foot to prove she could walk on it.  I spent a lot of time on the phone with teacher and the school's bullying specialist. Thankfully she wasn't in the boot forever and as soon as she got out of the boot the kids left her alone.

We went in to see our family doctor who put on medicine for her anxiety, because it would get so bad for her at school that she would make herself physically ill.  The doctor wrote a note informing the school of Anna's anxiety and getting worked up.  If she were to vomit at school at have no other symptoms of illness she was to return to class.  This note was created because I would have to pick Anna up from school one a week because she had vomited.

In December 2013, our family was crippled with Influenza A while we were all sick and suffering I decided to go through Anna's bag it was then when I saw Anna's second quarter report card realizing she had thrown away her report card from the first quarter.  She was failing most of her classes.  After talking to Anna about what I had discovered, lots of tears shed by both of us, I promised her I would fix it.  It was then I put my supermom cape and battened down the hatches and went to work.  I got a hold of her teacher, helped her organize her planner, found out ALL of the work she was late on, made an appointment with the doctor.

When I talked to Anna's teacher she told me Anna wasn't displaying the signs of ADD, but there was something in my gut that told me otherwise.  Of course, getting the diagnosis is a slow process, it's not like going in and getting an antibiotic for a sinus infection.  I felt so impatient and out of control because I knew in my heart of hearts this is what was wrong.  Finally after seeing our family doctor and being referred to a psychologist who specialized in children with ADD as well as children with anxiety and depression we finally got the diagnosis.  We also learned that children with ADD also have anxiety because they get so worked up from being unable to concentrate and then trying to cover up the things they didn't do because they could concentrate...it basically go hand in hand.

Joe and I chose to medicate Anna.  I know there is a lot of controversy about medicating the children of America because parents just can't handle them or because they are lazy.  Doing a quick Google search I found an article discussing what medication CAN and CAN NOT do for a child with ADD.  Parents are cautioned to not think mediation is a "magic pill" which will cure ADD.  Persons with ADD need to make an entire lifestyle change.  Well, isn't that the truth.

Though Anna was diagnosed with ADD, meaning she has the type that makes it difficult for her to concentrate but she doesn't have the hyperactivity which most people associate with the disorder.  In our house it has taken us a little time but we have adjusted to having a child with ADD.  Sometimes it is incredibly frustrating, especially when I am talking to Anna and I can tell by the look on her face there is a circus going on inside her head. Sometimes, when she gets really excited or her pill has worn off, she can be impulsive and will interrupt when someone is talking.  We have informed all of her teachers and Joe and I tried to be extra patient with her.  In the year since her diagnosis, we have learned to anticipate when Anna has issues and will try to help her. I'm happy to share,since starting the medication Anna's grades improved dramatically.  Though this isn't the case for some kids.

My best advice is to be vigilant, just because you receive the diagnosis and the mediation isn't a fix all, that is just the beginning of your journey.  You will need to realize this something your child will have to deal with for the rest of their life.

If you want more information about the signs and symptoms of ADD and ADHD please click here

Make no one a stranger....

I consider myself a shy person.  Yes, for those of you who know me are scratching their heads and saying "whaaaaaat?!"  Through my whole life I struggled with social anxiety, sometimes it was mild and sometimes it was severe.  But what makes people scratch their heads is my ability to get up on stage and sing or act or really put myself out there.  Well....that person on the stage because my alter-ego that I could hide behind, Katie the singer or Katie the actress not Katie Egloff....nothing. I know, I know crazy talk.  So putting myself out there to talk to people I didn't know or a stranger was terrifying to me.  Like anxiety, panic attack inducing scary for me.


I spent the summer of 2013 in a deep depression from sometime in May until Labor Day weekend when I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't like the way I looked.  I had gain 15 pounds over the summer and didn't fit into any of my summer clothes.  So I started do Weight Watchers and started doing yoga and Zumba.  I finally started feeling a little bit better.  Then on September 19 I received a message from my friend Deb, telling me about coming back to church (we have been visiting the church a year ago but fell away) and about a bible study that was starting on Wednesday nights she wanted me to go to.  As I write this I can feel the anxiety in my chest I had that day when Deb asked me to go.  I told her I would, thinking I could make an excuse and get out of it later, but I had to miss the first Wednesday.  Thursday afternoon, the day after the first bible study, Deb pulls up to my house and brings me the bible study book and proclaims "I'm not letting you get out of this, I'll pick you up next Wednesday at 7:40"  And she sure did.  Every Wednesday Deb picked me up for this bible study, of course I had to miss a couple, but after the first one I was hooked.  I remember being so terrified walking in that room the first time, with eight ladies I didn't know.  I remember thinking "what are they going to think of me?"  "I'm this sinner that hasn't been to church in over a year and I'm just going to show up and invade in their bible study!" "Just be quiet, don't say anything stupid" After the first video, I shared my knowledge of the Bible and got a couple compliments and my knowledge of the Bible (well I attended Christian day school since age 10 so knowledge of the Bible kind of stuck)

Three months later, I am now a member of Bethel Reformed Church, sing on a Praise Team, did a special music tri with my two daughters and I'm working on a special community out reach program called "The Peanut Butter Project".  I was asked to speak in church about my experience with the small group bible study.  Because of my renewed faith I have felt better and want to share how happy I am with other.  I wasn't doing it on purpose it just happened  I tried to say "hi" to everyone I meet, make a conversation with cashiers at the grocery store, talk to the waitresses a restaurant, chat with the customer service reps (when I had to call US Cellular three times and was on hold for an hour I hung up the phone with a smile on my face) It wasn't until I went out to dinner with my mom and Grandma Richards "Grammie" and I chatted it up with the waitress that I realized what I was doing.  I had talked with the waitress so much my mom asked me "Katie who is that, how do you know her?"
I replied "I don't"
My mom said, "You don't know her? The way you were talking it up with her seemed like you knew her"
Grammie said "No one is a stranger to Katie"

I realized how true that really is.  I have so much more confidence now and I have made it my policy "Make no one a stranger"  Now it may not work out all the time.  I'm an odd duck as it is so I am not going to run across a parking lot to say "hi" to a stranger.  (I'm seriously laughing right now at the thought of it.....give me a moment.....dang I'm funny) But I am going to try to be nice to those I meet.  Friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  My late friend Mitch (husband of my friend Deb who got me to go to the Bible Study) said "I'm nice to everyone, they could be my new best friend".  You never know when you could be someone's reason.  What if the cashier that I complimented on her hair was having the worst day because it seemed all the customers were jerks.  What if the grouchy cashier I talked about puppies with at Joann's has a sick mother at home and I just helped her forget about it for just a second.  What if the person I invited to church had gone through a summer long depression and didn't know how she was going to get out of it?  What if Deb didn't invite me to church, would I be so full of love as I am right now?
This Holiday season, and I say Holiday because just because you are a Christian and celebrate Christmas doesn't mean you can't wish someone a Happy Hanukkah (even though Hanukkah is over) Or if you are Jewish you can't say Merry Christmas.  Saying Happy Holidays is more of an insult. So moral of my story put yourself out there, say "Hi" to people and if you are feeling low.  Call me I've got a great story for you.