What is wrong with pooping?

I mean seriously. Why is there a difference in the way men, women and children talk about poop.  Men are allowed to blow up a bathroom and fart, no one thinks anything of it.  But a woman,
if a woman farts or blows up a bathroom both the women AND men are horrified.  I mean, just saw Freddy Kruger making out with blood soaked Carrie, horrified.  Why?  We all do it.  Yes even I poop (WHAT!? No. Katie stop. You don't poop!) but when I do the number two, I have to make sure I am in private and have a near panic attack if I, God forbid, have to poop in a public restroom.  Because women just don't do that.  My mom and I had a conversation once about going into a bathroom stall after someone had pooped being so terrified the next woman in line would think it was us that pooped. When we come out after peeing we want to tell the next woman in line "That smell in there was NOT me I just peed" But why?  Why are we so embarassed?  I have told many people how I would rather be throwing up than have diarrhea.  Want to know why? Ok here are two scenarios for you:

Scenario 1-
Sally walks into the bathroom at Target and hears another woman vomiting in one of the stalls.  Sally goes outside the stall, knocks on the stall and says "aww sweetie are you ok, do you need anything??"

Scenario 2-
Sally walks into the bathroom at Target and hears a woman having diarrhea in one of the stalls.  Sally covers her mouth to avoid the smell, thinks to herself "aw that poor girl, couldn't she have done that at home?"

People empathize with the barfing girl, even if she barfing because she had one to many spiked eggnogs the night before.  We feel sorry for people who a throwing up but someone with the "runs" "trots" "big D" we are mortified.

You know pooping is just like throwing up, farting or peeing.  You can't control it.  It's all unpleasant but it's a natural body function.  When a baby farts we giggle, we ooooh and aaaah when a baby belches. But why can't women fart?  Why when a group of mixed gender people are together and a man farts, everyone laughs about it!  But if a women farts it's not funny.  I think that it has something to do with the vision of what a perfect woman is.  Fifty years ago, women wore a skirt every day and her husband never knew what she looked like with out make-up on or her hair done let alone knew his wife pooped!  Women didn't get sick, if they did their husbands didn't know about it.  Men are manly, rugged, animals, they fart so other men and women know they are a MAN!  Women are gentle, beautiful, princesses that are always supposed to be proper. If you're not...you are labeled a tomboy.  Just like if a man is sensitive or cries he's labeled a sissy. WHY?!  I don't get it.

My daughters Anna (11) and Allie (9) rip farts and belch all the time and then giggle about it. Now, that is discouraged in our house at the dinner table or out in public.  I will never forget when Allie was about 5 she was sitting in a plastic booster seat at the kitchen table to dinner.  All of the sudden she hiked up her leg and rips a HUGE fart.  Joe and I both give her "the look", Allie, innocent as can be, says to me "What?!  My butt had to breathe!"  Except Allie has a mild speech impediment and it came out "What?! My butt hadda bweave!"  Why don't we have that innocence anymore?  Because the sign of a good child or good parent is to teach manners, to try to suppress the fart, to squelch the burp and make sure you say 'excuse me' or 'pardon me'.  But, how do we act when we are all alone?  We let em rip, we scratch our butt, we pick our nose and itch our armpit and then smell it.  Our manners are just a show we put on for everyone else.

During this cold and flu season my family got super lucky and got a stomach virus.  I got it first, Black Friday 5:30 in the morning driving home from shopping all night long.  I had to pull over and throw up in someone's driveway while Joe held my hair and we were serenaded by a rooster crowing in negative degree weather.  I threw up a couple more times, no diarrhea but awful HORRIBLE stinky gas. I was so embarrassed.  This awful bug went through my house, my daycare, my daycare families and according to Facebook the town.  We were all in the same boat at one time or the other, sharing our awful experience with this nasty, quick moving bug.

So the moral of my gross story of pooping, belching, farting, peeing etc. Give yourself and each other a little slack.  I am going to try to not be so embarrassed and more like my husband.  If you have to poop, POOP!